Comic 219 - P. 214
9th May 2016, 1:00 AM in Chapter Eight
P. 214
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Author Notes:
dinkygollier edit delete
Every time I get this comic updated, my main source of input for how the story's coming along is is my webcomic ranking. A huge shift up in rank tells me I did a good thing, and a shift downward tells me I did a bad thing. This isn't a terribly efficient system, esp. since my ranking has a history of bouncing wildly around as is. However, the down notes help give me a impetus to really think about how I'm approaching my work.

Creating this comic has been a learning experience for me, both on the technical side of things, and what kind of person I am. For example, the way the subplot between Jules and Rufus went at the end of Chapter Six exposed me to my own ableism. Between him, and Sarah's behavior after talking to Jack about possibly being neurodivergent herself, it seems that I don't really respect people who are dealing with those problems, despite being one myself.

I bring this up, because after the end of Chapter Seven, and this latest strip, it's becoming clear to me that I'm also a sexist. I gave Sarah very little to work with, and made a lot of foul suggestions with Grandpa Delitt's dialogue. Taken together, I'm beginning to realize that at the rate I'm going, and the reality that I may actually become even more bigoted as I get older, Newheimburg may well turn into an author tract for this clueless dickhead to espouse long-antiquated personal beliefs.

That's not the future I want for my work. But at the same time, I don't really know of resources that can help me sort this out. I've read a lot about sexism and ableism from people way smarter than me, consuming their emotional labor in the hopes that it would make me a better person. But I also know that bigotry is visceral, not cerebral. Whether I like it or not, I have to cope with the powerful response I get from my own jerk-dick belief systems, and what they could possibly be doing for me, on the personal level. And, for the time being, I just have no clue how to manage that.

- Ryan R